April Soul Note - The Voice in the Silence
“It took me a long time to develop a voice and now that I have it I’m not going to be silent.” - Madeline Albrecht
This past month, I had the luxury of attending a silent retreat where I spent 3 full days and nights enveloped in total silence. This time gave me the opportunity to look back at my past and at how far I’ve come on my personal journey of transformation.
Silence creates a doorway for entering into deep stillness, and it is in this stillness that you’ll find the inner world where your soul resides. Answers to questions that seem out of reach in the external world become readily available.
If you’ve read my memoir, you know I started asking big questions at a relatively young age. It was those questions that led me on a wonderful journey of self-discovery, that allowed me to answer the ultimate question,
Who am I?
As I take a peek in the rearview mirror of my life, I see a woman who found her way with faith and trust - a woman who found her authentic voice, a BIG ONE I might add. But it took courage, a heaping dose of patience, experience, and a little bit of quiet time to find it.
I, along with countless others, was raised to leave behind my dreams and aspirations to conform to society’s expectations. I was expected to get married, buy a house, have children, contribute to the household income, have a fabulous and fit figure, eat healthy, cook good meals, plan the family’s activities, juggle schedules - and I was to do all this with a smile on my face.
Sadly, this road led to unfulfilled dreams, empty promises, and an exhausted facade of a mother, partner, sister, daughter, and friend. Like debris scattered about after a storm, there were parts of myself trying to fit into society’s expectations and other parts screaming to escape the madness.
I longed for happiness and peace among the noise of the world around me. Little did I know that it would come, but only once I experienced more of what life had to offer.
I would learn that finding my authentic voice would be like trying to climb a mountain, its slippery slopes like golden honey. I would learn that I would fall often, and that it was my duty to coax myself back up on my feet, brush myself off, and set my sights in a new direction. Every step I took, especially the ones that landed me flat on my face, gifted me with new insights and wisdom that can only be taught through life experiences. I learned to listen and take action from a new voice whose words felt empowering and resonated deeply with my truth. Gone was the voice whose words were intimidating and often judgemental resulting in feeling abandoned, betrayed, and rejected.
Soon, I was fully equipped with tools gleaned from my falls. One of those tools became my most important companion along the way on all of my journeys: inspiration. But I could only hear it when I quieted my mind and my ego long enough to let my inner voice speak.
One of my sudden strokes of insight arrived in a soft but assertive whisper: I didn’t have to conform to what society expected of me. As I leaned in, that quiet voice inside myself began to get louder. It challenged the status quo. It got me into deep and wonderful trouble, often. Like a rebellious teenager, I began challenging everyone and everything in my way. Like Ms. Albrecht’s quote states, I had found my authentic voice, and I would be damned to silence it now. Too many dreams had been discarded, however, new ones were starting to take form. These new dreams were my long-silenced voice’s vision.
I had earned a Master’s degree in people-pleasing, chasing and upholding society’s view of how I should live my life. I learned how to swallow my words, to hush my inner voice (you know the one) and stuff down the words into my gut. I became a superstar at putting my voice last. Not the stuff that champions are made of, trust me.
Today, I have the privilege of working alongside many champions—women young and old who have found their voices. Each day I rejoice in their discovery. They share equal responsibilities with their partners, if they choose to have a partner at all. Fathers are now holding down the fort while Moms are the sole breadwinners. Listening to the voices of these women around me gives me hope in an ever-evolving world. As a collective society, we are coming full circle. Women’s voices are being heard.
If we all embody both masculine and feminine energies inside us, isn’t this something to celebrate? Heck, if we can contemplate creating a new love language, why not embrace both energies and create a new world? A world where each and every voice is validated, a world where we can celebrate our differences instead of condemning them?
I am connected to an energetic shift that is embracing our planet. It’s as if the Universe is announcing in her voice, “time is UP!” You’ll hear it too when you learn to lean into silence. We are entering into the age of the divine feminine, and her voice needs to be heard. We’ve held up and embraced the Universal masculine energies for thousands of years; now it’s time for balance and ultimate harmony to blanket our world.
If you ever get the opportunity to unplug from the madness of the world, take it! For true peace to reign on Mother Earth, we must learn to speak from our inner voice. This is the ultimate ingredient in creating and spreading the Universal love language.
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