How to Heal From a Toxic Relationship

Posted on September 30, 2017
Updated on October 28, 2020

Finding the strength to end and heal from a toxic relationship is never easy. Learning to love yourself again after you’ve experienced the weight of an unhealthy partner bearing down upon you can feel overwhelming and tumultuous.

Whether a romantic, platonic, or business relationship, the difficulties are ever-present. It’s scary to let go of someone you care for, whether you realize it’s the healthy thing to do or not. It’s hard to imagine how relieved you’ll feel when you’ve moved on and learned to heal from this situation, but if you’re ready to move on, this article can assist you.

Toxic relationships drain you of your energy. Some people can act as energy vampires of sorts, feeding off your energy and never replenishing the well. Sometimes, they aren’t aware of the effect their negative energy has on others.

A healthy relationship consists of a symbiotic union, where give and take are equal with both partners.

When you love someone, it’s harder to realize when they aren’t right for you. A co-worker or acquaintance can be easier to let go of, as there are less complicated feelings involved; regardless of whether you’ve realized your partner is a negative influence in your life, it can still be hard to make the decision to walk away.

Deciding what you deserve and require out of a loving relationship is the first step. When we’re in love, we often overlook the shortcomings of our partner, but your relationship should make you feel good at the end of the day. If you find yourself depleted and sad more frequently than elated and joyful, it’s time to weigh your options.

You must learn to value yourself, first and foremost.

Now, just because you realize there is an energy thief in your midst does not mean you must act abruptly and hastily. You don’t necessarily have to block the soul burglar’s phone number; after all, they may be completely unaware of their actions. If this is a relationship you value on some level, offer them your point of view.

If your feelings are met with disdain, it is time to move on to a more respectful partner. It may seem that letting go and ending this relationship will be the hardest part, but learning to move on can present equal levels of discomfort or pain. Remind yourself that this loneliness is temporary, and that you are doing what you need to do to take care of yourself.

The toxic lover is unlikely to let you go without a fight; after all, it’s not going to be easy for them to find another person to take advantage of. You might find yourself a bit lonely and blue, and their attempt to reach out to you will likely seem tempting. Resist the urge to fall back into the trap of the toxic partnering. You’ve come this far, and now it’s time to be strong.

Allow your friends to lift you up during this difficult time. Focus on things that bring you joy, such as pleasant movies, music or books. Find a local art show or take a stroll through the park on a particularly beautiful day. The loneliness of a breakup can be overwhelming, but remember to take it one day, and one step, at a time.

Get reacquainted with yourself, relearn who you are and what you love to do. It took bravery and courage to make it this far, and you should be proud of yourself. It can be easier, especially when life gets lonely, to stay with someone who does not ultimately bring you joy. Learn to be on your own, and appreciate your own company.

The fact is, there will be someone out there that will appreciate, respect and adore you; but you’ll never be able to see them when your eyes are clouded with the vision of the relationship you wish you had, with the person who treats you badly.

Take this time to envision the life you want, and the person you want to spend it with. Make a list of your favorite, most ideal qualities in a mate, and while you wait to meet this special someone, try enjoying the time you have to yourself. You can do anything you want, at any time! Take a trip out of town, or go see a concert you’ve been dying to see.

This is your time to heal in the most fun, humorous ways you can dream up. Use this time to get creative as well; creativity is an excellent outlet for painful emotions, and your creations could potentially touch someone’s soul in the future. Write about it, sing about it, just let your creative juices flow and see what happens.


While this healing period will be full of ups and downs, try to appreciate the ride. It took strength of character for you to realize what you deserve in a relationship, and bravery to leave a toxic one. You don’t have to expect yourself to immediately move on, but while you’re in the process, try to make the most of it.

Experience as many new things, and fill your time with as many useful, fun activities as possible. In time, you’ll find that you’re a stronger, more evolved version of yourself, and the partner who’s right for you, will respect your strength and demeanor.

Related Article: 5 Ways to Tell That One of Your 7 Chakras Needs a Tune Up

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Rhiannon Liselle is a nomadic Sagittarius with a passion for writing and trying to help others grow. She’s studied astrology for about 10 years, and has been writing about… Learn More About The Author »

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