Hello Astrology Answers friends! It′s Patti, your Spiritual Guide and Soul Space Facilitator. It′s time for your July Soul Note!
You may have been feeling a bit lost and uncertain as to how to live your life… not knowing how to go on… no longer feeling connected to Spirit like you once were… not knowing what you want, or feeling unsure of how to achieve it. You could feel a deep sense of disconnection and grief, as though everything you have ever done in your life, or tried to do to be of service on this plane, stands for nothing, and no longer has meaning. Or, you may just be keeping on keeping on, being busy, and feeling relatively okay. But maybe, in the stillness of the night, you feel a little lost and afraid.
- Judi Satori
Reading these words was akin to drinking sweet nectar out of a golden goblet sent directly from the Gods. As the words slowly drifted into my mind, I felt my heart soften. For several weeks, I had been feeling lost in some sort of dense fog and it was hard for me to make sense of what was happening — and my timing? Not ideal!
I had a ton of extended family coming to visit, including two toddlers under three years old. I was overcommitted yet again with clients, social engagements, and caring for my aging parents. My memoir, released in mid-October 2016, longed for a marketing plan. My son, who lives 3000 miles away and suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder, was having an episode that was negatively impacting his partner and two young sons.
I wasn′t sleeping, I spent my days plagued with weird headaches, and body pains were draining me. I was having a difficult time making connections with anything or anyone. Fear gripped my soul and deep sadness seeped into each day. I awoke several mornings with a self-diagnosis of despair and doubt, bordering depression.
How could this be happening? Something just didn′t make sense. I had been diligent in my daily meditations and my mindfulness was ever increasing. In other words, I was doing the work.
I longed for the isolation a caterpillar receives in the pupa stage — the cocoon providing comfort with the promise of a new life. Life in a chrysalis looked much more appealing than the one I was facing. I felt depleted energetically and had no motivation; I longed for change of some kind, but was at a loss as to what that might look like and what it could cost me.
I turned to a simple formula that I created for my clients called the ABC′s of healing. It was time to practice what I preach.
A - AWARENESS: Naming what we are feeling is empowering. This is awareness, once it is brought to the light of our consciousness it is time to allow, accept and acknowledge the emotion which is energy in motion. Let it flow!
I was AWARE that I was feeling lost and somewhat fearful. Desperation was setting in.
B - BREATH: The breath gives us the gift of the present moment. The present moment is the only moment where we can identify the emotion that is calling out for our attention. The present moment is our doorway to change and transformation.
“He who half breathes half lives.”
C - CLARITY: Clarity gives us CHOICE. When we can accept that life and its ups and downs happens for us and not to us, then we can take the time and power of the present moment to make another choice. When we are in emotion we have commotion. What we need is devotion; devotion to our emotions is self-care. Having faith was the fuel that I needed to accept that what was unfolding was happening for my highest good. I can make different choices when I am clear as to what is happening.
Judi Satori′s timely words were the magic formula necessary in lifting me gently out of the fog that I had been living in. Instantly I began to feel the fear melt away and the dark cloud that had plagued me for months lift. I let out an audible sigh of relief and silently affirmed, “I wasn′t losing it.”
One only has to spend time in nature to know that everything has a cycle. There is a time for growth and a time for stillness. Images of a butterfly flew up from the base of my skull — from precisely the same spot where I had been experiencing the peculiar headaches that had plagued me for months. Reflecting on the metamorphosis of a caterpillar, I could clearly understand that I required deep stillness. In this stillness, I had to muster the courage to surrender. A caterpillar in its pupa stage doesn′t ask what is happening to it. It accepts its so-called demise and surrenders to what is.
I felt the grip of fear loosening around my heart. Somehow I knew I was creating space for something new to fill the void that fear once occupied.
I silently vowed to honor the stages and stillness necessary to integrate new energies. I had to be patient with what was transpiring. I no longer felt the disconnection and separation from spirit, but a deepening into renewed liberation. Sweet surrendering into what is, with faith, was the fuel I needed to get through the next few days, weeks, and possibly months.
It turned out that the ABC′s were the prescription necessary for turning repressed emotion into expressed emotion. The light of awareness together with the breath turned out to be the lubricant necessary for getting me back into the flow of life. My growing pains shifted me into a state of peace and knowing: an understanding that emotions need our attention because they are messengers. When we mind them, we mend our hearts and settle our minds. My growing pains were turning into knowing pains.
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