September Soul Note - The Balance of Relationships and Self Love

Posted on September 06, 2017
Updated on March 10, 2021

Hello, all you lovely Astrology Answers readers. If you don’t know me, my name is Patti - I am the Spiritual Guide and Soul Space Facilitator here at Astrology Answers. Welcome to my new monthly article - Soul Note.

Each month I will be exploring a new topic I will offer guidance on, based on my own transformational journey. I hope can assist you in becoming your best self.

As my dear grandmother would say, “you can’t put a wise man’s head on a young man’s shoulders.” In sharing the wisdom gleaned on my journey of personal transformation, I offer you these soul notes as an invitation to seek meaning in your own life, by going within.



a connection, association, or involvement.

A relationship is tough work!

It is innate for humans to long for connection. Sadly, we search and look to others for that feeling of connection only to bring unhappiness and ultimate disconnection. Relationships are like a roller coaster ride. There are the ups that take you to thrilling places but you also have the lows which have the capacity to take you to frightening places.

Numerous times I have been left standing alone, shaking my head in disbelief asking the question, “Why are relationships so difficult and painful, why can’t I figure this out?” Like a complicated jigsaw puzzle, I would long for the pieces of relationship to fit together, effortlessly offering me a love story.

What I didn’t know is all my relationships were offering what I needed the most - to seek the love within.

I vividly recall the day at a self-help retreat when the facilitator declared that people show up the way we need them to. His words landed in my heart as my breath caught in my throat. I swallowed hard trying to understand and make sense of what he had said.

A flashback brought me back to a Christmas when I should have been celebrating the season; instead, I was picking up pieces from a broken heart left behind after a painful breakup.

“YOU”VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!” The voice inside of my head strongly disapproved as I recalled the pain that I endured from being broken open.

Were these people showing up the way I needed them to?

I sat in complete stillness and silently begged for clarity.

Then in a flash of brilliant golden light, in what seemed a millisecond, I saw perfectly how each relationship gave me what I needed at the time.

My first heartbreak gifted me with resilience and tools on how to mend a broken heart. Most importantly, I learned how to stand on my own two feet. I received the gift of strength.

My next relationship paved the way for family and a bond that would take me to my dying days. I was gifted with my children.

In all circumstances, I showed up for myself—something deep within seemed to be always cheering me on.

Now I was able to look at my present relationship, a challenging one at best. There was no doubt the man at my side was showing up just the way I needed him to. Did I like it? Not always. He pushes every button allowing my “stuff” to be triggered and released, and he invites me daily to be the best version of myself that I can be.

He didn’t show up the way I expected but he showed up the way I needed him to.

After a small fortune spent on “shelf” help books, hundreds of hours spent in therapist’s office, numerous retreats, and a failed marriage, I can share with a great deal of confidence that I believe I have found the secret to success in a relationship.

By no means does this make me a relationship expert but I believe by applying my golden rules in a relationship you will have unlimited success, bearing the fruits of your labor of self-love.

Patti’s Golden Rules

  • You can’t give away what you don’t have.
  • Accept yourself without judgment.
  • Be the person you would want to fall in love with.
  • Self love and self-care is critical.
  • You are the most important relationship you can have.
  • The rest will fall into place, not always on your time but there will be “a” time.
  • Be Love in Love.

Until next time, be well and be sure not to miss next month’s installment of Soul Note.

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A visionary, Patti Tucker took a definitive leap of faith and resigned from a high profile job as Film Commissioner to accept an invitation from her Soul. This life defining moment… Learn More About The Author »

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