The Road to Forgiveness: Venus in Pisces
We’ve all had moments where someone has hurt or disappointed us so deeply that we feel we can never forgive them. While it’s true that some things might be unforgivable for you, based on your own personal views, ethics and expectations, some things can be recovered from, if we only receive the acknowledgement or regret we are looking for from the offending person.
With Venus entering Pisces, we face a time of forgiveness and love, softening our resolve to remain angry or to hold grudges. Venus is the planet of relationships and resilience, while compassionate Pisces displays an innate ability to understand, forgive and move on.
The road to forgiveness involves a few things: You need to gain perspective on what you are feeling and get to the heart of it. On the other hand, trying to see the point of view of the person who has let you down can be immensely helpful on the road to understanding. As the saying goes, “To err is human, to forgive is divine.”
It’s about letting go of your own feelings long enough to listen to what happened, and to rise above your own pain to give someone a break for making a poor choice. There is personal power in forgiveness as well, for it means you are willing to face negativity, purge it from your life and decide to not be a victim to what happened. It’s all in your hands.
What we can learn from Venus in Pisces
Venus represents harmony, refinement and the urge to sympathize. She encourages us to see the beauty in life, and to take a view of solidarity, as there is power in numbers. At the end of the day, Venus wants us to move towards love and peaceful existence, as ugliness such as anger or disharmony is repulsive to her nature.
Receptive Pisces seems to have a sixth sense when it comes to the emotions of others. Empathy differs from sympathy because with this ability, you are not just compassionate towards their sadness, happiness, anger - you actually seem to absorb the same feelings they are having.
Have you found yourself coming to tears when you observe a friend suffering from a devastating break up? You could be having a totally normal day, and after you see her, you suddenly feel distraught, deeply sad and emotionally exhausted. If you find your moods changing on a dime when in the presence of others, you are experiencing empathy.
It’s pretty easy to see how much more understanding we could be of each other if we truly put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, but first, we have to name what we’re feeling so we know how to proceed. It doesn’t matter how easy it seems if we can’t even get past what happened. Which leads us to perspective.
When someone hurts you, lets you down or even crushes you with their behavior, you need to let yourself go through your initial reaction first. Cry it out, yell and scream, talk to someone, hit stuff with pillows, have an angry shower - whatever you need to get the poison out of your system.
Get a handle on what you are really feeling, because, “unforgiving,” just means you aren’t going to let it go, it doesn’t help explain the emotions you’re going through. Try to put a name on exactly how you are feeling, because that can help you figure out how best to heal.
Hurt/Anger - This is a tough one, as perceived betrayal can be hard to get over. This can be described as, “I can’t believe you’d do this to me!” Another description is a violation of the vulnerability we showed someone when we gave them our trust. How can you count on them if they’d callously hurt you or go against something they know you feel strongly about?
Humiliated/Ashamed - Did someone pull a stunt that completely embarrassed you, or set you back in some way or another? Maybe a trusted colleague threw you under the bus in a big meeting, or took credit for your work in a way you can’t prove. Perhaps you’ve discovered something huge that a loved one kept from you, and not in a surprise party kind of way.
This one is tough too, because it could lead to questions about a loved one’s destructive habits, or mean that you both have to face some recurring issues that are only seeming to escalate.
Sore Ego/Disrespected - It’s hard to even think about anyone but ourselves when our egos are stung. “How dare you!” we think. We feel tricked, foolish and taken advantage of, and it’s an awful feeling to go through. This is the one where we blame ourselves for not knowing better, or not seeing the signs.
Whatever you are going through, remember that blaming yourself is a sure way to live with ongoing negativity, even guilt. Part of forgiveness is to forgive yourself for whatever your part was in the situation. If you don’t, you can be starting down a path of bitterness and resentment that can scar you and your relationships for years to come.
You don’t have to accept the behavior of the person, but you can decide on whatever level you feel comfortable to at least come to terms with how this has changed your lives, and what you need to do to move forward.
You’ve never hurt anyone’s feelings, right? Making mistakes is not something you ever have to worry about, and every decision in your life has been solid and fruitful. Let’s be real, everyone screws up. We all make terrible decisions at some point, and often someone else bears the brunt of our frustration, drunkenness and thoughtless statements.
How have you felt when you’ve dishonored, disrespected or really hurt the feelings of someone you care about? Have you begged their forgiveness, tried to explain what happened in hopes that they’ll hear you out? Felt horrible when they shut you out or worse - when they start to look at you differently and pull away from you?
If you’re ready to try to untangle what happened, start by thinking about the last time you did something really dumb you had to explain your way out of. What kind of treatment did you hope for? Did they give you a chance to figure out why you did what you did? Being at the point where you consider forgiveness is good - it means you’re open to respectfully hearing them out.
If we can first separate what happened from how we feel about it, we’re making a step in the right direction. For fire and water signs, it can be hard to pull out of how you feel in order to look at the situation as an impersonal problem to solve. Your emotions are so intense, it will be hard for you to untangle your reaction enough to approach the situation unbiased.
An apology can go a long way, and the outcome will likely be different if you see that someone understands they’ve done wrong, clearly feel horrible and want to make it up to you, than if they show no remorse, are a repeat offender or try to pass the blame off on someone other than themselves.
For you, it might just take time to figure out if you care about them more than you do about protecting what it is they damaged in order to start down the road to forgiveness. At the end of the day, your mental and physical health is what’s most important. Listen to your heart and your gut, and give yourself as much time as you need to sort everything out.
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