Is Love Doomed During Mercury Retrograde?

Posted on October 08, 2020

A couple sits back to back fighting as the sun sets behind them, covering the frame in a shadowy-orange hue.

Even if you’re not very familiar with astrology, there’s a good chance you’ve heard the warning, “Mercury is in retrograde” at some point in your life. Every planet under the Sun goes retrograde from time to time, but it seems that Mercury’s retrograde period has more of an intense effect on us than many other retrograde transits.

Mercury is the planet of communication, information, and short-distance travel, and these are the areas of our lives that are most deeply affected by this transit. Today, we’ll be exploring how Mercury in retrograde influences our love lives.

After all, communication, information, and transportation are important aspects of any relationship.

With Mercury moving retrograde soon (October 13th to November 3rd, 2020), this is the perfect time to take a look at what this transit means for your love life and how it might affect you personally.

So, if you want to learn everything you need to know to sail through this transit unscathed and keep your relationships intact, keep reading to find out our best tips and tricks to surviving and thriving while Mercury is in retrograde!

How compatible are you with your partner? It’s time to find out with our zodiac love compatibility calculator.

How Does Mercury Retrograde Affect Love?

As Mercury rules communication, this area of our lives may become a bit trickier when this planet is in retrograde. It’s harder to get your point across and share your thoughts and emotions in a constructive, easy-to-understand manner. Therefore, it is possible that our relationship may suffer.

You may feel moodier and more tense during this transit, and this can make it even harder for two people to focus on finding a common middle ground during conflict. This is especially true if a certain relationship of yours has been suffering prior to this transit, as Mercury retrograde can bring hidden feelings or tension to the surface.

Mercury retrograde is well-known for its ability to interfere with all forms of communication, including technology. Texts, emails, and phone calls may not go through, which can unintentionally stir up drama.

Imagine you’re already having a lover’s spat with your partner only to find that your text has seemingly been ignored for hours, even days. What if Mercury retrograde is to blame? When Mercury makes communication – in all its forms – go haywire, we may end up blaming those around us.

Mercury can also make other aspects of your life, from work to keeping up with your home, feel more stressful – and it’s easy for this stress to bleed into your love life or platonic relationships.

Can Mercury Retrograde Be Positive for Love?

woman-holding-heart

While this transit can cause some issues or conflict, there are certain ways that Mercury retrograde can actually influence your love life in a positive manner. For instance, this transit is a good time to focus on anything with the prefix “re,” such as reconnecting, reorganizing your thoughts, or reflecting on your emotions.

This can be a fantastic time to try to rebuild your relationship and reevaluate your goals – or refocus on what you want out of this relationship.

Furthermore, there are certain ways to approach this transit that will make it easier to deal with. For instance, we know that communication can get a little fuzzy during Mercury retrograde – so, you can try sitting down with your partner and making a game plan for the immediate future.

If you’re aware that this transit makes it harder to get your message across, try committing to being more open to what the other person has to say. Make a promise to listen to each other, even when one or both of you are feeling frustrated. Take deep breaths during your conversations and commit to being patient with your partner.

Or, focus more on physical connection than communication until the retrograde period is over. More snuggles, less talk!

If you make the choice and set your own emotional tone for this transit, you can get quite a lot of healing and connection out of it. This transit will show you the strengths of your relationships by highlighting your weaknesses together.

Does Mercury Retrograde Ruin Relationships?

The short answer is: No, this transit will not ruin a healthy relationship.

It does has the power to dismantle a connection that is toxic or is no longer serving you. It is important that you remember this piece of information to avoid any self-fulfilling prophecies.

If you believe that this transit has the potential to destroy your relationships, you’re letting that energy slip into your subconscious.

The reason that breakups are more common during Mercury retrograde than when Mercury is moving direct is the breakdown of communication – a situation that may mimic Mercury’s illusion of moving backwards, making you feel as though your relationships are moving backwards as well.

If your relationship is rock solid, there is nothing to worry about. This transit doesn’t have the ability to destroy a relationship that is helping you grow and evolve; it only has the power to make you more aware of the cracks in a relationship that may be bringing you down, rather than building you up.

Another thing to remember is that many of the conflicts or arguments experienced during Mercury’s retrograde period will clear up once this planet begins to move direct once more.

Need some extra help? Try out a Grounding Meditation for 2020 Retrograde Season.

Mercury Retrograde & Your Exes

One thing that may stir up some trouble is the reappearance of exes in your life.

Because a Mercury retrograde period focuses on reliving certain experiences, you may find that your ex partners seem to be contacting you out of nowhere during this transit – which may put a bad taste in your current partner’s mouth.

This is why honesty is so important during this transit. While you may not be able to control who or when an ex will text or call you, you can control the details you choose to share with your current partner.

It’s a good idea for each person in a romantic relationship to brace themselves before this transit for the reemergence of exes in your lives. Make a game plan and stick to it.

Mercury Retrograde & Twin Flames

woman-holding-heart-with-kissing-face

Since Mercury retrograde is a transit that focuses on the past, this is actually a powerful transit for twin flames and soul mates.

Soul mates and twin flames are directly related to connections that we shared in our past lives, making this period one that stirs up these old connections in this life. Mercury is the ruling planet of the sign Gemini, represented by the twins. This sign is deeply connected to the concept of twin flames, as it symbolizes the union of two souls.

If you happen to be single during this transit, you may want to keep your eyes and your heart open for a union with your own twin flame. While Mercury retrograde often gets a bad rap, this can be one of the most magical transits under the Sun for reuniting with your twin flame in this life.

Retrograde periods are also deeply associated with karma, meaning that any karma that needs to be explored or dealt with might reappear during this time – especially if they relate to your love life, soul mates, or twin flame.

It’s important, however, that you don’t assume that any ex that contacts you during this time must be a twin flame or a soul mate, as nostalgia and blasts from the past are inherent with this transit!

How Mercury Retrograde Ignites Twin Flames

A twin flame is literally your other half, the part of you that once made you whole. At some point, you and your twin flame were separated and transformed into two individuals. When Mercury, the planet that rules over Gemini’s twins, moves retrograde and reconnects with past lives, it opens a powerful portal that has the power to connect you with your twin flame once more.

Pay special attention to the number 6 in your life during this transit – the number that connects to The Lovers card in the Tarot. If this number keeps appearing, especially in the presence of others, the Universe may be trying to tell you that your twin flame is near.

You may also experience angel numbers during Mercury retrograde, particularly 11:11. Have you ever looked at the clock exactly as it displays 11:11? This happens frequently when Mercury is in retrograde, and it may indicate a message from the Universe.

Keep your eyes open for signs from the Universe that your twin flame is near during this transit – particularly if you are single. If you’re in a relationship, see if these numbers pop up while you’re near your partner.

Do you have a twin flame near? Find out: The Ultimate Guide to Twin Flames

Mercury Retrograde & Soul Mates

While the two phrases are often used interchangeably, soulmates and twin flames are actually different!

Your twin flame represents the soul that you once shared with another, which was separated and transformed into two individuals. In fact, many people believe that not everyone is assigned a twin flame.

A soul mate, on the other hand, is someone who is specially and unusually connected to your own soul. And while many people believe that you only get one soul mate, you can actually have quite a few!

Soul mates can represent people who you’ve shared a connection with in many past lives, and they can appear in your life at any time. But when Mercury is in retrograde, it may open the door to bring your soul mates closer than ever before.

Soul mates may come into your life to stir things up, to change your routine, or to teach you a lesson. They also act as reminders, bringing you closer to someone you may have been in the past or your core self.

So, keep an eye out for the appearance (or reappearance) of a soulmate when Mercury is retrograde, because this transit might be trying to teach you a lesson or bring you closer to your true self.

How Mercury Retrograde Affects Your Love Life

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Each time Mercury goes retrograde, the transit occurs in a different zodiac sign – the sign that Mercury is resting in at the time it moves retrograde. The effect of each retrograde period will reflect the sign that Mercury is in at the time, taking on the themes of that sign.

Let’s take a look at how Mercury affects your love life, depending on what sign it falls in.

Mercury Retrograde in Aries

Aries is fast-moving, action-oriented sign that likes to move at its own pace; however, when Mercury is retrograde, things move more slowly and take longer, including some roadblocks.

We may feel stuck during this time, as though things aren’t moving or happening fast enough – especially when it comes to romance.

Mercury Retrograde in Taurus

“Slow and steady wins the race,” says Taurus, a sign that keeps their eye on the prize. However, Mercury retrograde can make it harder to get where we want to go when it’s in the sign of Taurus, especially in our love lives.

It’s important that we don’t misplace our anger during this particular transit, which can make it even harder to find the love we seek.

Mercury Retrograde in Gemini

Mercury is the ruling planet of Gemini, a sign that is typically advanced in the art of communication. When Mercury is retrograde in this sign, communication issues are amplified to severe degree.

It may be useful to focus more on physical affection than talking to your partner during this transit – save the heavy conversations for later!

Mercury Retrograde in Cancer

Cancer is an emotional sign, and when Mercury is retrograde in this sign, our relationships take on more feelings than ever. Yet, it’s harder to talk about these feelings during this transit.

This is a good time to find creative activities that you and your partner can do together to release your emotions in a healthy, safe manner.

Read this next: Mercury Retrograde in Cancer 3-Card Tarot Spread

Mercury Retrograde in Leo

Gregarious, fun-loving Leo is a sign that adores spending time with others, especially when romance is involved. However, when Mercury is retrograde in Leo, we feel more reclusive, prone to retreating into our inner world than spending time with our partner.

Taking time for yourself may be the best idea during this transit.

Mercury Retrograde in Virgo

Virgo is all about health, and it’s also ruled by Mercury, making a Mercury retrograde transit more palpable when it occurs in this sign. This transit will expose unhealthy patterns within relationships, or even unhealthy relationships themselves.

Pay attention to what your gut is telling you about romance during this time.

Mercury Retrograde in Libra

When Mercury goes retrograde in Libra, we’re more likely to turn inward and discover new things about ourselves – including what we want out of a relationship.

Your spirit and its desires are always growing and changing, so this is a good time to reevaluate what it is you want from your romantic endeavors, saving big decisions for later.

Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio

Scorpio is a curious, investigative sign, and when it pairs up with Mercury retrograde, we may find ourselves stuck in our heads, overthinking. This can trickle into our relationships, so it’s important to try to ground yourself in your body and spirit during this transit.

Try to practice activities that engage your senses and ground your energy.

Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius

Frank and forthright, Sagittarius is not a sign that shies away from sharing thoughts and opinions. When Mercury goes retrograde in this sign, you may be more blunt with your words, which can cause conflict in relationships.

Focus on balancing the Heart chakra during this transit to promote compassion and understanding with your partner.

Mercury Retrograde in Capricorn

Capricorn is rather reserved with emotions, and Mercury retrograde doesn’t make it any easier to share your affections. You might feel distant from your partner during this transit; try to find a way to share your love physically, creatively, or in any manner that feels comfortable and natural.

Don’t let this transit shut your emotions down.

Mercury Retrograde in Aquarius

When Mercury is retrograde in Aquarius, our friendships and romantic relationships hit a patch of turbulence. Misunderstandings and petty squabbles may get in the way of intimacy and connection. Maintaining patience is key during this time.

Remind yourself that this transit will pass, and you will soon feel the balance return to your relationships.

Read this next: 6-Card Tarot Spread for Aquarius Mercury Retrograde

Mercury Retrograde in Pisces

Pisces is a dreamy sign that connects deeply to fantasies; but when Mercury is retrograde in this sign, those fantasies can easily turn into paranoia, which bleeds into relationships. It’s important to stay grounded and avoid any situations that might shift your perception negatively.

Focus on activities that promote openness and honesty within your relationship.

Your 7-Point Checklist for Keeping Love Alive During Mercury Retrograde

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While Mercury retrograde can cause tension in relationships, there are things you can do to make the most of this energy. Here are a few things to practice and keep in mind while Mercury is in retrograde to keep love alive and thriving.

1. Keep Expectations Low

Mercury retrograde is known to bring some frustration and tension into our love lives, so it’s best to keep expectations low right now. Allowing our mind to conjure up grandiose fantasies can lead to some serious disappointment right now, so try to maintain balance and manage your expectations until this transit is over.

2. Be Patient

Along with that frustration and tension that this transit brings, we also experience some impatience. And the fact of the matter is, things may take longer, and we may see more hiccups than usual when Mercury is retrograde.

So, practice meditation whenever possible, breathe deeply in tense situations, carry your selenite and your clear quartz with you for balance, and try to be as patient as possible during this transit.

Trying to force things will not only fail right now, but it might even make things take longer. Let relationships and romance flow naturally, even when the waters are choppy.

3. Embrace Forgiveness

There’s something magical that happens when you practice forgiveness under a Mercury retrograde spell – love flows, and miracles can happen. Holding onto a grudge will hurt you more than anyone else during this transit, so let those old grievances go!

This is the time to move on, to allow yourself to heal, and to look forward to the new experiences and connections that await you.

4. Dig Into Nostalgia

Mercury retrograde is a period that connects us with the past, and we feel more nostalgic than ever. Embrace that nostalgia by recreating beautiful moments in your relationship. Have dinner at the same restaurant where your first date took place. Pack a picnic and take it to the park where you met.

Even if you’re single, a sense of nostalgia can help you move on from past hurts and broken hearts right now. Connecting to the energy of the past can help you grow and learn from it.

5. Ask for Clarification

Communication is difficult right now, so don’t be afraid to clear things up when you don’t understand something. If you receive a text that you’re not sure how to read, ask them what they meant. If you hear a comment that triggers anxiety or confusion, politely request clarification.

Being as transparent and patient as you can with your partner or crush will prevent misunderstandings right now.

6. Try to Forget First Impressions

If you’re single and mingling, try not to cling to first impressions during this time. We’re all fumbling over our words and a bit confused when Mercury goes retrograde, so try not to judge an awkward first meeting too harshly.

Giving someone a second chance might be the key to romance during this time.

7. Update Your Dating Profile

If you’re single and dating online, this is the perfect time to jazz up your profile. Try adding a new picture, changing up your bio, or throwing in a spicy or funny quote. A small touch can really help you stand out from the crowd.

How Mercury Retrograde Affects Your Love Life, Based on Your Zodiac Sign in 2020

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Just as Mercury retrograde has different effects based on the sign that it falls in, each sign experiences a Mercury retrograde transit differently. Let’s take a look at how Mercury retrograde will affect your own love life this year (the upcoming Mercury retrograde being in Scorpio), based on your Sun sign.

Aries

You value your close relationships, Aries, and while you may have a short temper sometimes, you’re not typically one to hold a grudge. However, it’s harder to let things go when Mercury is in retrograde, and even harder for you to simmer down when you’re angry.

Focus on chakra balancing and crystal healing to encourage balance and forgiveness right now.

Taurus

You’re typically the slow and steady type, Taurus, but Mercury retrograde puts a spring in your step that may encourage you to move quickly – perhaps too quickly – in relationships. While you may feel like taking a leap, it would be more beneficial for you to wait until this transit passes.

Have fun for now, and make commitments when the energy clears.

Try a 3-card Love Tarot spread for more insights about your love life during Mercury retrograde.

Gemini

Relationships may feel more tense during this transit, which makes it harder for you to connect – especially as Mercury is your ruling planet, Gemini. Communication is fuzzy right now, so try to go easy on yourself and others.

When the energy clears, you’ll be able to resume your connections with more understanding and clarity.

Cancer

This transit, while potentially dramatic, actually helps you feel more like you’re on the right track right now, Cancer. You’re able to recharge your emotional batteries and take time for yourself. You don’t have to ignore your desire for romance, but this is the perfect time to build a deeper connection with yourself.

Have a date night for one in the comfort of your living room!

Leo

Your emotions are heightened during this transit, making you feel more sensitive – especially around your partner. You might take things more personally right now, making you feel disconnected within your relationship.

Positive affirmations, creativity, and any practice that boosts your confidence is crucial right now, Leo.

Virgo

Mercury is your ruling planet, Virgo, so this transit hits you particularly hard. You feel busier than ever, leaving little time to engage with and connect to your friends, family, or partner. While productivity amplifies your confidence, it’s important to maintain your relationships.

Try to make time for the people you love, even when you’d rather be organizing.

Libra

You may crave more emotional support than usual, Libra, even if you don’t know how to ask for it. You don’t have to try to fix everything on your own; don’t be afraid to let your friends or your partner know that you need them right now.

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable will deepen your bond and create a stronger connection.

Scorpio

You may experience changes and transformation of the self while Mercury is in retrograde, Scorpio. Your mind may be focused on the bigger picture, but you should try not to neglect your relationships throughout this transit.

Carve out time for your metaphysical studies as well as your relationships to maintain balance and harmony.

Sagittarius

While you’re usually social and thrilled to spend time with those you love, Mercury retrograde encourages more alone time than usual for you, Sagittarius. This time can be spent creating a deeper connection to yourself through self-care activities.

Recharging will boost your confidence and promote balance, making it easier for you connect with others when this transit is over.

Capricorn

This transit is intense, but it actually encourages more socialization, connection, and plain old fun for you, Capricorn. Although communication may be more confusing during this time, you can relax into sensory activities and get out of your head a bit.

Focus on experiencing the present moment for now and save the serious talks for later.

Aquarius

Your attention span is shortened when Mercury is in retrograde, which may make it harder for you to be patient and consistent in a relationship, especially if you’re still in the talking phase.

Aquarius, try to hold off on making any decisions about love or romance until this transit is over and you’re able to focus more clearly on a certain situation or individual.

Pisces

This transit helps you step out of your daydreams and into reality, Pisces, and it encourages you to start going after what you want. Communication is difficult, however, so this may be a better time for planning than execution. If you’re in a relationship, think about how you want to approach it from now on.

And if you’re single, make a game plan for the future.

In Conclusion…

While Mercury retrograde can clearly cause some tension or miscommunication, it doesn’t have to be all bad. In fact, if you learn how to flow with this energy, you can actually make it work for you rather than against you.

Whether you’re single or partnered up, your relationships can actually flourish while Mercury moves retrograde if you follow the steps listed above. Just remember not to cower in fear or avoid romance when Mercury is retrograde – don’t let it have that kind of power over you!

You have the ability to make the most of this time and create spicy romance in the midst of this transit!

If you have more questions about your love life, try checking your free Daily Love Horoscope. Now, get out there and spread the love!

Related article: Your Ultimate Guide to Mercury Retrograde

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Rhiannon Liselle is a nomadic Sagittarius with a passion for writing and trying to help others grow. She’s studied astrology for about 10 years, and has been writing about… Learn More About The Author »

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