Ask Charla: How Can You Connect with Your Child Based on Their Sign?
Welcome to another edition of ‘Ask Charla.′ You know, here at Astrology Answers I get a lot of questions from all corners of the globe; things to do with love and romance, chakras, tarot, astrology, numerology; if it′s metaphysical, then someone at some time has asked it!
“I want to know about Virgo mamma and Aries child and the connection.”
Hi! You know, that’s a great question, because your child’s birth chart can tell you a lot about how to interact with them so that you both get the best out of your relationship! Parenthood doesn’t come with a guide book, and even if this isn’t your first child, every kid is different. What worked for one might not be the way to raise another. We human beings are so complicated, and that’s where astrology can certainly help!
Knowing the Sun sign is one thing, but in some cases, the Sun isn’t the dominant part of the chart. That’s why I always advocate getting both charts professionally done. It’s not unusual to have a relationship synastry reading done so you know where you’ll blend and where you’ll clash! There are some things you can learn from the Sun signs and elements though. Let’s take a look!
Aries is a fire sign, ruled by the planet Mars. It will get along best with all fire signs, which include Leo and Sagittarius. Libra is its opposite, which means that this sign has the potential to bring out the very best or the very worst of the ram. The most challenging relationships are probably going to be with Virgo or Scorpio.
Aries children demand attention and you’ll have a hard time convincing them that they’re not the boss of you. They’re bold, brash and adventurous, which will keep many a parent on their toes in the early years! Discipline is not something that comes easily to Aries children. They usually have to make mistakes and learn things the hard way.
These kids will melt your heart with their hugs and cuddles. They’re quick to explode into temper tantrums, but also quick to get over them. They share easily and willingly, but they’re not pushovers. They love to rise to a challenge, so if you want to get them to do something, make it a game or a competition. The more fun and ambitious the task, the more likely they’ll take to doing it.
Aries children are very imaginative and creative—and hard-headed! As impetuous as they appear, they’ve really got a soft heart, and need constant reassurance that they’re loved and accepted. They treat others the same way, too, with love and understanding—that is, until someone crosses them!
They’re not particularly reasonable, nor are they overly responsible, but they can be taught to learn both. Blending their adventurousness with some old fashioned practicality is the key to an Aries child’s success.
Taurus is an earth sign, ruled by the planet Venus. It is most compatible with the other earth signs; Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn. Scorpio is its opposite, and the scorpion has the potential to bring out both the best and the worst of the bull. The most volatile relationships are likely to be with Libra and Sagittarius.
Out of the two, I’d say Sag, because Taurus does share the ruling planet—Venus—with Libra, so there’s a bit of common ground there.
Taurus kids wrote the book on how to be stubborn. The more you try to make them do something they don’t want to do, the more they perfect the art of obstinacy. They’re absolutely charming kids at heart; you just have to find new ways to get them to do what you want them to do.
They respond well to hugs and affection, but don’t remove them as a punishment, or you’ll break these delightful children’s fragile hearts. These children are very capable, practical and methodical. They’re in touch with their feelings, and usually wear their heart on their sleeves—even the most reserved child will let you know how their feeling.
They’re not impetuous or impulsive, but tend to exercise caution. You may have to coax them out of their comfort zones in order to get them to experience new things. Be careful when doing this; Taureans don’t like to be the center of attention.
Taurus kids don’t like insensitivity, either. They won’t be bullied, they don’t take kindly to bad manners, and they can’t understand impracticality. They need gentle handling, as all children do, but perhaps even more so due to their nature being so refined and sincere. Calm your child with soothing music and soft colors. They’ll soon respond favorably.
Most Taurus children love to learn and are quite creative in how they do so. They enjoy reading, appreciate all the arts, and have the ability to concentrate and really take in what they’re studying. Let them learn at their own pace, and don’t push them, or you’ll create a confrontation that will accomplish little.
Positive reinforcement, reasonable rewards, and lots of hugs and kisses are they way to get your ‘little bull’ to cooperate.
Gemini is an air sign, and will get along best with all air signs; Gemini, Libra and Aquarius. It’s ruled by Mercury - which also rules Virgo - so that blend has some potential. Sagittarius is its opposite, which means the relationship has the potential of being the best of times or the worst of times. The most challenging relationships are quite possibly with Scorpio and Capricorn.
You can be forgiven if you think you’ve got two kids rolled into one with Gemini children, for the are the sign of the twins! Active, curious, animated, and definitely impatient, you’ll have your hands full. These are not children who like to be restricted or confined in any way, and if you curtail them too much, they’ll turn into whiny kids—which will make you both miserable!
Little Geminis need to be kept occupied if they’re not going to get into trouble. They’re good at multitasking, and tend to do everything at a fast pace. They’re intelligent, curious, and outgoing, so expect to have a multitude of kids playing at your house!
Gemini children have vivid imaginations and the line between fact and fantasy often blurs, so before you accuse them of lying, try to understand the root of the story first.
Gemini kids also have to be taught not to interrupt, not because they’re rude, but because they’re so mercurial that they’ve probably already worked out the rest of the story and are ready to move onto the next topic of conversation.
Introduce your Gemini children to technology early. Communication is vital to Geminis, and they love being able to be in touch with everyone, or to find out information at the drop of a hat. These kids are bright, vivacious, and unstoppable. They just need some gentle guidance as to how to best fit in with the roles that society will demand from them.
Cancer is a water sign, and is ruled by the Moon. It gets along best with the other Cancers and the other water signs, which are Scorpio and Pisces. Capricorn is the opposite to Cancer, so that relationship has the capacity to be wonderful, or challenging. The most trying relationships for Cancers are probably with Sagittarius and Aquarius.
Cancer children lunge from one mood to the other, often with little warning that a tantrum is either over or about to erupt. This is because they wear their heart on their sleeves and relate to the world by how they feel about it, not by what’s actually there. You’ll always know how they feel because there’s no way they can hide their emotions from anyone, especially not themselves.
These kids need extra reassurance and extra emotional attachment in order to know they’re loved and appreciated. They won’t come forward and ask for your attention, so you’ll have to make sure you take the time to give it to them, willingly and unconditionally.
Removing your affection or showing disapproval—not of what they do, but of who they are—will cut them to the very core of their being.
Cancer kids have very vivid imaginations, but don’t dismiss all of their pretend friends as being unreal. All water signs are very empathic, sometimes to the point of being psychic. As time passes you may hear these kids talking to people who aren’t there. Listen carefully; they may be interacting with their ancestors or other loved ones on the other side.
There’s a fine line between discipline and tolerance when it comes to these children, and every child has a different threshold. Encourage them to be helpful and kind, for this comes easily to them, but assist them in growing the toughness they’ll need to cope with the harshness of life outside of their familial security.
Leo is a fire sign, and is ruled by the Sun. It’s the most compatible with Leo, Sagittarius and Aries. Aquarius is the lion’s opposite, so that pairing has the potential to be either very strong or very disagreeable. The most stressful relationships will probably be between Leo and Capricorn, or Leo and Pisces.
Little lions are born leaders, and you’ll hear them roar from quite a distance! They’ll organize the others, instigate ideas, and need to be the center of attention or they’ll sulk. Think of Lucy Van Pelt in the Peanuts cartoon strip, and you’ll have a good idea what’s in store for you as the parent of a Leo child.
Leos are quite bossy by nature, and you’ll have to find a way to help them channel this without squashing it, or you’ll really hurt their feelings. Teach them the difference between being a boss and being a leader, and how to shine by example rather than letting them dictate what should and should not be done.
These kids are talented, but they also tend to be show offs, which should be gently discouraged. They have to learn to share the spotlight.
They also need to learn responsibility. These kids love to learn new things, but only when those activities are of interest. Keeping Leo children actively engaged in something they enjoy not only works as a teaching exercise, but also opens an avenue to help them control their temper and frustrations. Like all fire signs, the lion does have a temper!
Some Leo kids develop a real lazy streak. After all, why should they do it, when they can get someone else to do it for them? As a parent, you have to love and encourage them to see the value in doing things by and for themselves. Appreciate them, pay adequate attention to their interests, and work with them when it comes to learning something new.
You’ll be rewarded with children who are individual, confident, and well-liked by their friends.
Virgo is an earth sign, and will get along best with all earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn). It shares its ruling planet of Mercury with Gemini, so there may be a good connection there. Pisces is Virgo’s opposite, so that is probably going to be either a really complementary relationship, or one where there’s little in common.
The signs likely to be the most frustrating are Aquarius and Aries.
Virgo kids will show signs of being reserved right from an early age, but they still need all the love and hugs they can get, even if they don’t instigate the contact. They’re fussy little beings, fussy about their food, their clothing, who they like and who they don’t like.
Encourage them to try new things, but don’t be too hard on them if they’ve got a definite opinion about broccoli or plaid or Great Aunt Gertrude. Allow them to be who they are.
Most Virgo children won’t throw excessive temper tantrums. When one does appear, it will explode with a venom like you never dreamed possible. If it happens in public, these kids will be mortified that they made a spectacle of themselves. Virgos are not naturally drawn to the limelight.
You can expect Virgo children to be naturally orderly, intelligent, and somewhat precocious. They accept responsibility easily, especially if it’s something they want to do. However, when teaching them a new skill, be gentle. Harsh criticism or mockery will cut them to the bone. They abhor making mistakes, and the idea of meeting with someone’s disapproval terrifies them.
Virgo kids are naturally curious, and very intellectual. You might even find yourself at the end of their criticism if you rearrange their room or move their stuff without asking them to help. They’re not the most outgoing children, but underneath the reserve they’re in need of approval and acceptance. Observant and thoughtful, Virgo children often seem wise beyond their years.
Libra is an air sign, and is most compatible with other air signs, including Aquarius and Gemini. It’s ruled by Venus, which it shares with Taurus, but even that relationship—along with Sagittarius—has the potential to be pretty volatile. It’s opposite is Aries, and that’s likely to bring out both the best and the worst in both signs.
Libra babies and children of both genders are usually very pretty. Their faces are expressive, and it’s easy for them to charm their elders into getting what they want. There’s a natural grace and poise about them—so much so that they often appear more mature than they are.
They’re not prone to temper tantrums, but when they do happen, they’re usually more out of frustration than anger. The reason for this frustration is that Libra kids—Libras in general—have a hard time making up their minds on just what they really want.
If you try to get them to hurry, you simply exasperate the issue creating more frustration for both of you and perhaps fueling the fire for an outburst. Provide only one or two well-considered choices, and be patient while they’re pondered. This way, you teach these delicate little people how to think for themselves.
Libra children need fairness, they need harmony and balance in their lives. If they’re overwhelmed in anyway, the frustration starts to build. They don’t want to make a mistake, they are frightened of making the wrong choice, so they dither and postpone and find distractions. Allow them some down time to think things through, and you’ll be well rewarded.
Sometimes the frustrations that Libra children feel comes over as being argumentative. They have to see both sides of the story and find out every feature and detail. Because of their charming nature, they’re quite good at winning these debates, too!
Introduce these kids into everything that is balanced and beautiful, and as they mature, you’ll find you’ve raised a child who is balanced and beautiful in return.
Scorpio is a water sign, and is ruled by Pluto. As a general rule, they will get along with all water signs, Pisces and Cancer included. It’s opposite Taurus on the zodiac, and that has the capability to be either a very good or a very challenging connection. The signs that are customarily the hardest work are Aries and Gemini.
Scorpio kids are strong willed right from the start. They don’t play mind games; they want what they want and they want it for a reason. Superficiality doesn’t interest them, and as they grow older they’ll simply drop anything - or anyone - who is insincere or unnecessary.
They’re also not very compromising, so if you’ve got a battle of wills on your hands, be prepared for a standoff!
These children like to push the boundaries. They’re curious and inquisitive. They want to see how things work, so they’ll take them apart and put them back together again. This mindset applies to people, too. Scorpios will keep pushing others to find out where the breaking point is.
You’ll have to be loving but firm, teaching them compassion, understanding and respect, how to forgive and let go of grudges.
Scorpio children are honest and loyal, but perhaps a bit tactless. They will be mortified if they’ve hurt someone’s feelings unintentionally, but they’ll also soon learn how they can use their words as weapons, and won’t be afraid to do so. They’re brash, bold and daring, but they’re also very deep. You’ll rarely know what a Scorpio is feeling unless they choose to reveal it to you.
Scorpios are intuitive and affectionate, and will pick up on others’ feelings and want to make things better. It will be easy to come down hard on these kids, because when you tell them no, they’ll stare at you with those mesmerizing eyes to see if you really mean it.
You have to be firm, but kind, because—like any other child—they need approval and reassurance, no matter how intense or aloof they might appear.
Sagittarius is a fire sign ruled by Jupiter. They will get on the best with other archers, and also Aries and Leo. They’re opposite Gemini on the zodiac, which means this could be a great blend of energies, or an absolute headache. Other signs that might prove incompatible are Taurus and Cancer.
These kids are gregarious and happy by nature, and it takes a lot to get them down. They’ll wave to everyone they meet, enjoying any attention others show to them. They need an audience, they need to be in the middle of things, and they’re likely to have a whole troop of friends, rather than just one ‘bestie.’
Sagittarius children need a happy environment if they’re not going to grow up to be skeptical. Their minds are active and curious, and you’ll have to have a reason for everything you do and say, because you’re more often than not going to be met with, “Why.” Tell them the truth, straight up.
It’s okay to cushion the blow, but if you lie to them to protect them from something, they’ll lose all respect for you when the lie is exposed.
These children are also independent individualists. Allow them to express themselves, and be prepared for the fall that often comes - literally as well as metaphorically - when they attempt something new. They need freedom to be who they are, to explore new ideas and new friendships.
Expect more than your fair share of teenage rebellion, too, even if it’s in the most subtle of ways.
Sagittarius children are rarely bored or dull, for they’ll make their own entertainment from anything that’s at hand. They’re fascinated by different cultures and philosophies from an early age. Allow them to explore. The more freedom and encouragement you give these kids to analyze who they are, the more likely they are to remember where home is.
Capricorn is an earth sign, ruled by Saturn. It will be most compatible with the earth signs, which include Taurus and Virgo. Its zodiac opposite is Cancer, and those relationships might be an absolute tug of war between Cap’s logic and Cancer’s emotions. The Sun signs most likely to cause friction are Gemini and Leo.
These are the children who seem like they’re just naturally old souls. They’re determined, even from babies. They know what they want, and they find the most effective way to get it. If your Capricorn kid throws a temper tantrum, you can bet the farm there’s something truly amiss.
You’ll also soon know what these children like and what they don’t like. They will find all kinds of ways to show their disdain for what you’ve done, and then they’ll patiently wait for you to fix it. They don’t take no for an answer, and will keep trying different approaches until you finally give in and say yes, or find something else of equal value. Caps are wonderful barterers.
These are very serious children. They do have a sense of humor—one that is fun, bawdy, and down to earth—but they only let it show with people they trust, and even then, only when the more responsible tasks have been taken care of.
Their idea of enjoyment is usually some kind of creative play, and they’ll lead the other children in these games just as a teacher will lead a class. Despite their somewhat somber nature, Capricorn kids are loving and affectionate, even if not overly demonstrative. They’re responsible and studious, naturally respectful and caring, and don’t let anything get them down for long.
Some days, their maturity may even leave you feeling that you’re the child in this relationship, because Capricorn kids will always look after the needs of their loved ones!
Aquarius is an air sign, even though it’s the sign of the water-bearer, so don’t be confused! It’s ruled by Uranus, and will get along with all of the air signs which include Gemini and Libra. It’s opposite in the zodiac is Leo and relationships between those signs will either compliment or confound each other. The most complicated rapport is probably with either Cancer or Virgo.
Aquarius children often leave their parents feeling like they’re raising an enigma, or at least a bit of a riddle. They’re confusing and charming, sensitive and aloof, impulsive and reserved, and have the ability to be many different and contradicting emotions all at once.
Even though their innate nature seems puzzling, with the right upbringing, these kids have the capacity for phenomenal success.
One thing all Aquarians must have is a sense of independence and personal freedom. If you try to tell them what to think, they’ll choose a different outlook simply to defy you. The best way forward is to present them with a scenario, and let them find their own way through it.
You will never be able to predict the outcome of any situation, so don’t try. Just keep guiding in the right direction. Emotions are frequently challenging for Aquarius kids, because they rely more on what they see and on the logic of a situation, rather than what they feel. They’ll try on ideas and philosophies, and throw them away if they don’t fit, moving onto the next concept.
They’re so busy exploring things they may seem to lack common sense at times, so be prepared for a few scrapes and falls along the way. These children are incredibly intellectual, but might not have much common sense.
They’d rather stick their noses in a book than be out on the sports field, and even if they are physically active, there’s some kind of logical reason behind it. Empathic and deep, they take everything seriously and spend a lot of time thinking. Join these kids in their thirst for knowledge, and you’ll have a relationship that will enrich both of you.
Pisces is the last of the water signs, and is ruled by Neptune. It gets along with all the water signs (Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio). It’s opposite is Virgo, and they have the potential to either work very well together, or constantly clash. Other clashes with Pisces are Leo and Libra; it will be hard to find common ground there.
Pisces kids might seem somewhat different from other children, and that’s because they find it so easy to slip into make believe. They are at home in their imagination, where TV characters become real, and where their toys come to life. They’re charming and alluring, and they get their own way by captivating you and drawing you into their reality.
The easiest way to get these children to cooperate is to enter that world with them. Use their favorite symbolism or toys and create a magical world in which whatever you need to do happens, and not only will they go along with you, but they’ll do so willingly. Be aware that Pisces do tend to do things when they’re ready, though, and not necessarily when it’s time!
As creative as Pisces children are, they often lack confidence. Make sure you pay them attention, and give them lots of praise. Tune in to when they want to socialize and when they want to be off on their own, because these kids need their down time away from others and in their own fanciful environment.
Pisces children are super-sensitive, and often sense atmospheres or tension long before anyone else does. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not real to them, and that can take a bit of handling at times. Don’t pour cold water on their make-believe, and don’t tell them that they’re just imagining things.
Encourage self-expression through some kind of a creative pastime, for this kind of heart-felt originality is often what makes the world a much brighter place.
Hopefully you’ll see that, even though every child is going to be unique, there are some traits that are innate to every Sun sign, and children of that sign will express those traits, sooner or later! The more you can learn about your child through careful study of his or her chart, the more you can lead these wonderful little people toward their full potential.
I suppose that a natal birth chart could humorously be considered the instruction manual after all!