Let Down Those Walls: What Being “Open” Means In Relationships
With so many planets in the fixed water sign Scorpio right now, relationships are coming under the microscope in an intense and powerful way. Venus has just arrived on the scene, and we still have Sun in Scorpio for a little while longer. We also have Jupiter in intense Scorpio, a lucky transit that will last right through to the fall of 2018.
Early in December, Mars will enter Scorpio, and stay there until the new year. Scorpio energy is intense, and you can use this energy to succeed in relationships, but the number one thing that leads to relationships failing is the emotional wall. Scorpio is really good at this, but so too, Scorpio is really good at tearing those walls down.
If you really want to succeed in love and relationships, you’re going to have to bring down some of those barriers. Today we are going to talk about how important this is, and also how to do it.
Walls Keep People Out
The number one reason why we build walls when it comes to relationships, whether that is our friendships or romantic experiences, is to keep people from hurting our heart. Those who have not experienced a lot of pain in life do not have many walls, and have very open and happy relationships, but let’s be real.
This is a very small percentage of the population. Very few humans are happy all the time, and many of us who feel discouraged by love are doing so behind a wall.
Now, when other humans come into contact with us, or are attracted to us, and they find there’s a little bit of a gateway before they can enter our hearts, they will go through a number of different options, romantically, spiritually, and even physically.
The people who really want to get into your heart will make a concerted effort, and the people that don’t, won’t. It’s really that simple. Now I have heard people say before, “I’m not interested in loving anybody unless they are interested in tearing down my wall.”
This is just about the most self-limiting and self-defeating prophecy you can create for yourself when it comes to love. This is the very definition of being your own worst enemy. It’s not anybody’s job to take down your walls. That is your job.
Of course, we do need to engage in some sense of self-preservation when it comes to romance. You can’t just let anybody in, or you never know who’s going to burglarize your home or your heart. You just have to be smart about it, and Scorpio is all about that.
Scorpio is the detective who researches, fact finds and investigates every opportunity, romantic or otherwise. When something isn’t working for Scorpio, they tear it all right down and start from scratch.
This is invigorating and empowering to Scorpio, and one reason why you will frequently hear the emotional water sign Scorpio say, “that is dead to me.” As fixated, obsessed and jealous as Scorpio can get, and we can, we also do reach that point when it’s time to tear something down completely and start over.
The fine balance in between both of these extremes, having a wall, and tearing it down, is being open in relationships. When you are open, you really do have the best of both worlds, and you have much more fulfilling and honest relationship experiences. So how do you do that?
How to be Open in Relationships
Being open in relationships does not mean opening up your relationship to other partners. Being open in relationships is much different than having an open relationship. We are not talking about having an open relationship right now.
We are talking about how to have an open heart so that you either attract more romantic opportunities that are for your benefit, or you use that open heart to uplift and elevate your current relationship.
Being open means just that. It means being open! It means communicating honestly with your partner, allowing yourself to be a little bit more vulnerable. It means speaking your truth, and letting your partner know exactly what you need and want.
You are allowed to have needs and wants, AND, communicate them! It’s called relating, the root word of relationships, remember? That’s exactly how to be more open in relationships as well. By actually communicating with your partner your needs and wants. This is scary, and is why many people do not do this in relationships!
We fear the other person will hear our needs and wants, and run away. Here is the cold hard truth about love. When it is good it is very, very good, and when it is not is ugly. The simple fact of love remains that no matter how big you love in this world, or how many loves you have, as Plato said, loving someone always comes with a loss.
It’s not a gamble that you take. It is a fact. When you enter a love experience, you are already consciously making the choice to lose that person sometime in your life. Whether that is by death or by a relationship break up remains to be seen, but it is going to happen.
Having a lover is no different than having a pet in some ways. You enter the experience knowing you will not spend the rest of your life with this pet, sad, but painfully true. Do you say no to the pet anyways? Well, some people do, but most people don’t. They allow this unconditional love into their life anyways, and so should you with the humans in your life!
Being Open and the Law of Attraction
The law of attraction states that what you focus on grows. What that means is what you think about and obsess about is what you are going to attract into your life.
If you are focusing on keeping that wall in front of you nice and sturdy, sound, and impenetrable, then you’re not going to be able to allow anybody into your life in a truly authentic way, no matter how hard they try to break that wall down.
If you have decided there is a wall, you are attracting safety and security around your heart, and aren’t going to succeed in your wait for someone willing to break down that wall. If you have decided to be open and loving in relationships, then you are going to attract those open and loving opportunities and experiences in love.
If you are single, you are going to attract more people who are willing to get on this page with you. Trust me, being open to new people is very attractive and even very sexy. If you are attached, then once you make that choice to be more open, you also make the choice to elevate and uplift your current relationship.
Secrets and walls break down relationships faster than true feelings and authentic words. It’s really that simple, and it really is your choice. What do you choose?
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