Your Guide to Planetary Relationship Compatibility: Sex & Love

Posted on August 13, 2020

Two people face each other and hold a rose in front of an orange sunset.

Are you wondering if your special someone is compatible with you? Do you wonder if your relationship has what it takes to last for the long haul? if you are looking into relationship compatibility and focusing only on Sun signs, you’re going to find the information and answers pretty lacking. There’s more to discerning relationship compatibility on all levels than just the Sun sign. For the novice, this is a great place to begin.

You’re treading new ground here by starting a relationship with somebody. You may not have experience in relationships with people who have his/her zodiac sign. Of course, learning from direct experience with your partner will teach you the most about how to be in a successful relationship with him/her. But reading your love compatibility chart is a great way to get to know the “hidden” aspects of your partner so you can avoid some of the trial and error.

So if you’ve met a person that you think might be the one, and you checked your love and relationship compatibility with your zodiac signs. Now what? There’s more to love than your zodiac sign! In this article, we will explore what a birth chart synastry reading can mean for your relationships, where to look for certain signs (for love, sex, and magic), and what the different planets mean in regards to love.

The planets are aligning, earthlings! Let’s look beyond. Here’s everything you need to know about your love compatibility check, and how to build relationships that last and thrive.

Haven’t had your synastry reading yet?

Click here to talk to our real psychic advisors about love and compatibility.


Look to Their Birth Chart

When you want the real skinny, you’re going to need some information first before you can form a full picture of the potential of a union. In order to pull your natal chart, or anyone else’s, you will need to determine the location of all the planets and the Moon when they were born. You the following information:

  • Date of birth. (This includes day, month, and year)
  • Time of birth. (“Um, sometime in the morning, I think.” doesn’t count. It needs to be as accurate as possible)
  • Place of birth (Community and country)

Related Article: Are You With Your Soulmate: Check Your Love Compatibility

Isn’t Asking For That Weird?

It may sound like an awkward conversation, but honestly is key in any surviving relationship, so tell them about it and even offer to show them what you find.

If you want to be a bit more round-about about it “I’ve got a friend who’s an astrologer, you’ll get a kick out of this. If you give me your date of birth, time of birth, and place of birth, we can see what she says!” This is often received with curiosity. It might be less creepy than my habit of saying, “I’m going to stalk you on a celestial level.”

Generally, that’s how you get the information. You simply ask. All that a sun sign and birth chart information is going to tell you are about a certain level of basic chemistry and energy between you two.

A birth chart with planetary pens on it.

So The Results Are In…

You’ve received some important news and need to know how to make sense of it before moving forward. Will this be the love of your life?

A number of things could happen next. Well, really we can narrow it down to 3 main options.

#1 A Perfect Match You got the great news that you two are meant to be together and you’re wondering how it ever took you so long to find each other.

#2 Oh no! You found out that the two of you will likely crash and burn – ouch. Or, more likely…

#3 Reality Check! You two are a potential love compatibility match… but like all relationships worth their salt, you’ll need to grow through working through some issues.

Now, regardless of whether you opened door # 1, 2, or 3, your love compatibility test has revealed insights that you can use – or lose – to create the best romantic relationship possible.

What happens next is your choice, the planets will never tell you no but they will tell you to proceed with caution. Using your chart can help you act in informed ways and anticipate your partner’s wants and desires, making your relationship stronger. Just make sure to not excuse bad behavior as “that’s just what a Virgo does,” because you deserve true and respecting love.

Common Compatibility Chart Questions

So now you know whether you are compatible or not, let’s look deeper into what to look for in their chart.

What is This Person Like in Bed?

If you’re looking in someone’s chart to discover what they are like in the bedroom, there are a few places you can analyze. You need to look at their Sun sign, Moon sign, the position of Mars, and where Venus falls in their birth chart and take that information to interpret compatibility.

People hold their hands up to spell LOVE with their fingers on a beach at sunset.

What About Passion?

If you want the nitty-gritty on the primal aspect of someone’s sexuality, you want to look at Mars. Many people would gussy this up with adding in Venus and other things, and they aren’t wrong. However, if it’s just the purely physical side of a relationship, Mars is the planet to look at. Mars rules the sex drive. You could have the two most compatible sun signs together, your Moons could be in perfect harmony, but if Mars isn’t syncing up, it could be a real dud in the bedroom.

Whether or not the potential heat in the bedroom is a major consideration for your relationship is a strictly personal thing. The position of Mars in a woman’s chart can indicate the qualities she will be attracted to in a mate. For example, a woman with Mars in her Aries house would want a man who takes charge, brings home the bacon, and controls the dynamics in their relationship. While a woman with her Mars in Sagittarius could be looking for a free-spirit and a friendly personality. She might want a man as more of a travel companion, she doesn’t want to get tied down by him.

What About Love?

Venus is where we are going to find the kind of qualities that someone seeks in a mate that develops a deeper affection and lays the groundwork for long-term love. When it contacts somewhere between Mars and the Sun, we’ve got a high probability of a winner. If I’m just checking things out, I will usually look at the interaction of the Sun and Mars as well as Mars and Venus and the different ways those three interplay.

The position of Venus in a man’s chart can give some clues as to what he wants in a woman. For example, a guy with his Venus in Cancer would be looking for the ultimate mother figure; a gal that likes to stay at home and tend to the kids. A man with Venus in Libra wants a driven woman that is elegant and tactful. He wants a woman who is classy and practical.

Related Article: Relationship Compatibility Check by Life Path Number

Breakdown of the Planets

When it comes to the science of love astrology, all you need to know are how the elements involved in your own specific chemical equation work together, or, in an opposite manner. It all starts with information you can obtain from your birth chart, and the birth chart or natal chart of the one you want to create a spark with.

A planet in space surrounded by purple light and stars.

Planets are the basic elements in every love equation that you can start using right now to create relationship chemistry that keeps the sparks alive. Let’s explore:

The Sun & Elemental Love

We all use zodiac signs to find out where our relationship compatibility lies. The Sun is the planet, or star, that represents how an individual is seen in the world, and what their own unique outlook on the world is. So your Sun placement, or, your zodiac sign, illustrates your overall personality and how you approach matters in love and in life. So of course we need to know what the Sun is doing in our charts, these are our zodiac signs and rising signs. This is important because life as-we-know-it on this planet would not survive without the Sun. Your relationships won’t either.

A common thing astrologers look for when considering Sun sign compatibility or star sign compatibility is the element pairings. So Earth and Water signs do very well together, as water feeds the earth. Fire signs and water signs might have some problems because water puts out fire. These are some ways you want to start thinking if you are considering the grand picture of love compatibility.

Where is the Sun in BOTH of your charts? Have you found a match that isn’t compatible? That’s okay. There is more to your love story than what the Sun is doing.

You definitely want a zodiac sign that is Sun compatible, which helps with your relationship chemistry. But this is only one component of your relationship chemistry. In other words, don’t count someone out just because they don’t have a compatible Sun sign. Maybe their sign is your perfect Venus or your ideal Mars? You will never know if you limit your relationship compatibility to Sun signs alone.

The Moon & Compatibility

Moon signs are another thing astrologers look at when looking at love compatibility. Are your Moon signs compatible? Your chart will determine what your Moon sign is, and your partner’s chart as well. For compatibility, you consider similar factors like you would with the Sun. The Moon side of us, however, and our Moon sign, is the marker for our emotional needs.

A discussion on relationship compatibility is incomplete without a talk about the role the Moon plays. Like your Sun sign or your zodiac sign, you also have a Moon Sign. This information is also found in your birth chart, and in your crush or partner’s as well. Moon Sign placement rules your inner world. Where the Sun rules all of the things about you that the world sees, the Moon rules the opposite, all of the things about you that the world does NOT see….right away.

This is your emotional center and your partner’s emotional center. All of the undercurrents in your Moon Sign will help you to create relationship chemistry that creates sparks that last. And this is exactly why having incompatible Sun signs is irrelevant in love. You may get along well with someone who has an incompatible Sun Sign, but, has a compatible Moon Sign.

If your Moon is in Aries for example, and your partner’s is in Libra, this will be an exciting connection of Fire and Air creating sparks yet again. Regardless of your zodiac signs! So if you are hoping to create relationship chemistry that lasts, shoot for the Moon!

Get your free daily love horoscope by clicking this button.

Mars & Sexual Drive

And then of course we have Mars. The Mars placement in anyone chart suggests what kind of male partner that they would most likely be attracted to. So for example, if you are a person with Mars in Aries in your chart, then you will be attracted to a man who is a go-getter, an initiator, a leader, a real take-charge kind of guy in your life, and in your karmic destiny.

A look at your birth chart or the natal chart of your partner can give you a lot of information about sex appeal. Zodiac sign compatibility is wonderful of course, but we know there is so much more to a powerful love connection than that. Mars placement for both partners is very critical. That’s because Mars is known as the manly man of the planets. Mars rules attraction, drive, sexual energy, and is a magnetic force in every love match.

Mars placement in birth charts can reveal problems with sexual chemistry, and can also reveal where sexual chemistry can really take off. Mars is also about action and making moves. Your Mars placement will tell you exactly what you need to do, what moves you need to make, in order to experience the most outstanding sexual chemistry. If you are seeking a man in love, your Mars placement will also tell you what kind of man you need to feel fulfilled. So Mars in Aries position for example will hint that a fire sign or an Aries is your ideal match that will meet all of your chemistry needs.

Venus & Love Magic

A discussion on love compatibility would be incomplete without a discussion on Venus, of course, the goddess of love and beauty. Since Venus is traditionally known as female, Venus in a woman’s chart indicates how she relates to people and how she exudes her passion in life.

But Venus is even more important than that, she is also the goddess and planet of relating. Where Venus is in a person’s chart is an indication of the kind of woman that they will be attracted to. So, if a person has Venus in Scorpio, they are going to look for someone emotional, intense, and not shy in the bedroom. When you know where a person’s Venus is, and yours, then you can very simply learn how to tap into that exciting, pleasurable, and relationship-driven energy that makes you absolutely magnetic to your crush or main squeeze.

Where Mars is the planet of drive, sexual allure, and appeal, Venus is the softer and more loving side. Also, where Mars represents the ideal male for those seeking men in love, Venus represents the ideal female mate for those seeking women in love. So if you are looking to meet the perfect girl for you, find out where your Venus placement is in your birth chart or natal chart. Whatever zodiac sign Venus is in, will show you the qualities you are inherently looking for in love.

Your Venus placement in your natal chart also shows you what you need when it comes to meeting your love needs. Chemistry is great, but if there is no love or romance in the picture, those sparks will die fast. So, let’s say your Venus is in Libra. That means an Air Sign or a Libra will be a good mate, as they will have the intellectual and harmonious qualities you seek in love.

Learn more: How Venus Placements Affect The Way We Love.

Mercury & Relationships

You hear time and time again that if you can’t communicate in a relationship, the relationship will not succeed. Without communication, relationships can not exist. So how would you like to know how to unlock the secrets to communicating with your partner? Who wouldn’t! Mercury is the planet of communication. Knowing where Mercury is in your partner’s chart will be able to help you communicate with them precisely the way they need you to.

For example, if they have Mercury in Virgo they will like very rational logical, and ordered communications, not emotional ones. If they have Mercury in Cancer they will want you to be very emotional. Again, you could have two Sun signs that are terrible matches from a compatibility perspective. BUT, if one of those two in the match knows how to unlock the communication secrets the other person needs, then both in the match benefit and you have a wonderful compatibility picture here.

For those who do not identify with male or female genders, Mercury is where you should look when finding love in your chart. Mercury is not traditionally masculine or feminine in Astrology because it is the agent of exchange between the two, representing the spectrum of gender identities. So if you are looking to find your non-binary love match or are looking to find out more about how you represent in your relationships as a gender-fluid human, Mercury is your planet.

All The Other Stuff

Pay special attention to any places that your horoscope compatibility test has revealed areas of potential conflict between the two of you. Talk with your partner about what your expectations and boundaries are – especially in these areas that you now know could cause problems. This lays the foundation for a healthy relationship – one you’ll both be happier in.

When we look into charts and love and gender, it’s important to understand that how we identify and who we love is more important than who we were at birth. While your chart began then, you are at a certain part of your journey that is who you truly are, which all falls under your astrological journey. Use these planets as a guide, and go find love!

No matter how good or bad your relationship compatibility forecast may be, if you focus on growing together (which is what relationships are all about) love can thrive. A poor love compatibility reading almost always has positive aspects. And if you focus on the positive, you may just find you two are a better fit than particular astrological aspects might suggest. So if you’ve been told the two of you aren’t a good match but feel strongly about the relationship – follow your heart!

Discover your love compatibility today.

* Editor’s note: This article was previously published November 13th, 2014 and has been updated for astrological accuracy.

Did you enjoy this article? Please share it with your friends!

This article was written, edited, and researched by multiple members of the Astrology Answers Editorial team. With their astrological powers combined, the planets are truly… Learn More About The Author »

You might also be interested in


Next Article