What To Do if You’re Smitten but Your Zodiac Compatibility Isn’t Good

Posted on August 28, 2018

Of all the possible astrology questions, we probably get questions about compatibility the most. While there is some truth to how well the elements and signs gel together, most people who dive deeper into astrology see that there are many levels to compatibility that your birth chart helps you discover. Your Sun sign does reveal your core personality, but both your partner and yourself are much more than your Sun signs. Don’t put anyone, especially yourself, in a box!

It’s common for people (including me) to talk about astrology signs on a first date and then start wondering about astrological compatibility. This could really mess with your head and get in the way of getting to know someone in an unbiased way because you might illustrate the worst-case-scenario in your head before you’ve even given the relationship a chance. Alternatively, you may think you’re a perfect match and you’re not!

People tend to think about astrology in very black-and-white terms. They tend to think it needs to be 100% accurate or it has no value at all. However, astrology is able reveal certain characteristics about people you may not have discovered yet. Astrology compatibility provides us with a remarkable roadmap that can help us navigate any relationship. But, like any map, you can’t expect to see and understand all the minute details about a person you are still getting to know. Still, we can all agree it is easier to get around with a map than without one, so be open to the information astrology can give you in your relationships.

Thinking About Breaking Up Because You’re Not Compatible?

Relationship compatibility can help us a lot, but it’s much more complex than just comparing Sun signs. If you are thinking about dumping someone because you read somewhere that your Sun signs aren’t compatible, hold up! You’re not seeing the whole picture yet and that wouldn’t be a good reason to call it quits.

True compatibility is affected by many things. A person’s belief systems are often a product of the environment they grew up in. The wounds that they carry with them and the way they react to life are often based on experiences they had with their parents or family in the past. All of these factors also contribute to compatibility, which means we cannot base our decisions on understanding someone’s Sun sign by itself.

Compatibility often takes time to determine. You would never want to run a compatibility test before meeting someone and decide if you’re meant to be before getting to know them. In our society today, people rush into relationships faster than ever. Astrology can help you understand a person’s habits, quirks, and style of affection.

That’s where astrology comes in. It can help you understand a person’s habits, quirks, and affection style. Astrology compatibility is a helpful tool, but it’s not meant to be the only lens you view your relationships through.

Before You Do Anything, Read On

People are much more complex than the traits of their Sun sign. We also have a Moon sign, which represents our emotional needs. The zodiac sign in your chart that Mercury shows up in represents your communication style. Then, we also need to look at the sign and planets in our 7th house of partnerships, which reveals more about our behaviours and appetites for certain types of relationships.

You’ll often find you crave the traits that show up in the zodiac sign of your 7th house; you might even behave more like that sign (rather than your Sun sign) when you’re with your partner. This helps explain why people are drawn to some people and repelled by others.

To reveal these more in-depth aspects of your chart, you need your exact time and location of birth, not just the day you were born.

What Does Zodiac Compatibility Mean?

You may still be scratching your head wondering what zodiac compatibility means. The first part is looking at your Sun sign and determining how it generally gets along with the other signs. Remember, there are 12 zodiac signs, so everyone you meet has a different core personality. Each of those 12 signs fall under one of four elements, which also influences compatibility.

So which zodiac signs go well together?

In general:

  • Aquarius goes best with Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius, and Aries.
  • Gemini goes best with Aquarius, Libra, Aries, and Leo.
  • Libra goes best with Libra, Aquarius, Gemini, and Sagittarius.
  • Taurus goes well with Capricorn, Pisces, Virgo, and Cancer.
  • Virgo goes well with Taurus, Capricorn, and Cancer.
  • Capricorn goes well with Taurus, Virgo, Pisces, and Scorpio.
  • Aries are good with Gemini, Sagittarius, Leo, and Aquarius.
  • Leo is good with Sagittarius, Aries, Gemini, Libra.
  • Sagittarius is good with Leo, Aries, Libra, and Aquarius.
  • Cancers are good with Pisces, Taurus, Scorpio, and Virgo.
  • Pisces are good with Cancer, Scorpio, Taurus, and Capricorn.
  • Scorpio is good with Pisces, Capricorn, Cancer, and Virgo.

We have all had that experience of meeting someone and it somehow feels like you already know them or like you’ve known them for a long time. There are certain signs we are drawn to because there’s a sense of familiarity and comfort. Those feelings can lead us to jump into things thinking we do truly know the person, but it’s always wise to take your time.

What’s In a Zodiac Sign?

Before you use a zodiac compatibility calculator, first you need to have an idea of what the zodiac signs tell you. A person’s horoscope reveals patterns and themes that show their nature. While some people value a nice home (typically Earth and Water signs), others value being able to travel often (typically Fire and Air signs).

The zodiac signs reveal preferences as well as potential blind spots each of us has to work on. For example, some signs are naturally a bit stubborn while others struggle with self-centeredness.

Every person has the ability to grow and work on themselves, which is why you’ll never meet a person that’s exactly the same as someone else with the same Sun sign. You will, however, see some commonalities. When it comes to calculating which astrological signs are compatible, take it as a theory but not a rule. Don’t base major life decisions around astrology compatibility, but observe what truths may be revealed through it.

The 4 Elements Are:

Each of the 12 zodiac signs is linked to one of 4 elements, and these reveal a lot about the emotions. If you look at someone’s birth chart and they have a lot of one element showing up, this could explain why they may seem so different than someone else. For example, someone with a lot of Water in their chart may be extra empathetic because they can feel another person’s energy so easily. Alternatively, if someone has a lot of Earth signs in their chart, they’re likely to have a stable, predictable lifestyle because they crave security and understand how to make that happen in their lives.

  • Earth

Earth signs are practical and grounded. They are the salt of the Earth with their heads on straight, a sense of responsibility, and loyalty. They are not generally as creative as some other elements, but they are very good at sticking to long-term plans and producing high-quality results. They can be slow to change and hold grudges if they aren’t careful, but they are exceptionally loving. The Earth signs are Virgo, Capricorn, and Taurus.

  • Air

Air signs are natural communicators. They are analytical, rational, and intellectual. They are often a bit scatterbrained, but also very social and friendly. They easily forget to eat because their minds are racing around between many ideas at once. Sometimes you’ll need to tell them when it’s okay to be silent and they can be unreliable. They love big ideas and want to help society. Libra, Aquarius, and Gemini are Air element signs.

  • Water

Water signs are the most sensitive and emotional, but also very nurturing and caring. They are intuitive and make great healers, teachers, and artists. They are known for being indecisive because of their wavering emotions but you’ll feel their love for you regardless. The Water signs are Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces.

  • Fire

Fire signs are known to wear their emotions on their sleeve. They are powerful, passionate, direct, confident, and creative. They can have a temper if they don’t channel their energy in good directions. They are usually vibrant and creative people. Fire signs include Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius.

What Do These Elements Represent?

Elements affect the emotional makeup of a person on a deep level and help us understand each other. They also affect a person’s energy. Often it even effects how fast they speak, their metabolism, and their approach to life.

Fire is fast and passionate, Earth is more measured and methodical. Air is flexible, witty, and expansive, and Water is emotional, intuitive, and deep. It’s easy to see which element dominates a person when you start to understand the elements and begin to notice them.

For more on these elements, check out this article: Understand The Elements in Astrology: Improve Your Understanding of Others.

How Much Weight Should You Put On Zodiac Compatibility?

There’s by no means a perfect relationship that exists in the Universe. Calculating zodiac compatibility may give you an indicator of how challenging a relationship could be based on the many layers of your psyche and the other person’s. You still have your free will to make the most informed decisions for yourself.

Zodiac compatibility calculators offer a much more in-depth understanding of compatibility than just comparing Sun signs. They will give you more information about how you might relate to someone on a deeper level and where you might have your work cut out for you.

Is It Possible for a Compatibility Clash to Make a Strong Relationship?

Yes. If you are willing to really take responsibility for your own emotions and seek to allow someone to be themselves and love them for the way they are knowing it’s different than the way you are, you can grow even more with someone who is different from you. If you’re really interested in your zodiac compatibility for marriage and serious relationships, these maps can be more helpful than hindering in that they can help you speak each other’s language.

We often assume someone thinks like us but it’s rarely the case. Challenge yourself to see the things that make someone else tick and you find you’re able to get along with everyone. Be open-minded and embrace the areas that need work with your attention and lots of compassion. Often the things that challenge us the most are the most rewarding.

How Can I Strengthen My Relationship With an Incompatible Zodiac Sign?

Look your own and your partner’s Moon signs to understand each other’s emotional personalities and tendencies. Think about how you can communicate what makes you feel loved and safe to them in a kind and positive way. Also, ask how you can do the same for them.

Next, look at the strengths of your partner’s sign and focus on their positive qualities. Maybe they naturally value some things that don’t often occur to you. Make sure you ask them what is important in their life so you can support them on a deep level. Explain your own most important aspects of life are so they understand you, too. Some people value building relationships while others value learning about and working to change society more. It doesn’t mean you can’t gel. We need variety in our lives.

Most importantly, be supportive of your partner. Help them see their talents let them know you support what is in their heart to do with their life so they feel free in the relationship. You can also express what’s in your heart so you feel you can be your best version of yourself with them. Find ways to fit with each other and compromise.

You can look to the 7th house of partnerships in your natal charts and read about how you each approach relationships and how you can find a happy middle ground. This can actually be like a really fun treasure hunt! Keep a positive attitude and don’t get into blaming the other person for your feelings.

You May Get Along With Any Sign, Some May Take More Work

Yes, it’s true. You can find a way to appreciate the strengths and weaknesses of any person just as others are able to and willing to accept you in the same way.

If you feel safe and loved, working through different perspectives in a healthy way with someone offers an opportunity for both people to grow. That’s not to say that you should hold onto something if it’s causing severe anguish in your life.

If there is a healthy level of respect and love in your relationship, working through differences of opinions and finding ways to communicate your feelings to someone about the things that challenge you can be tremendously empowering because you can find solutions instead of running away from situations that feel temporarily uncomfortable. Using loving language helps us find ways to appreciate that relationships are a journey we can embrace and work within in a loving way. It takes time to work out our kinks with others because we have set ways of thinking. New thought patterns develop only with practice. Ultimately it’s great when a relationship pushes us to be our best but is gentle enough to allow us room to grow.

How Do I Proceed In a Smart Way?

If there are major red flags in a relationship, your gut will tell you and you need to listen. If there are things you want to explore deeper but you feel there is a healthy level of respect, spend time talking with the person and get to know them. Take the relationship slow without the expectation that it has to ‘be something’ right away. People often want the safe feeling of being in a relationship before they have taken the time to see if they can communicate and grow together in a healthy way.

Don’t rush and always share how you’re feeling but also take time to observe, listen to, and understand your partner. Think about what they are going through, check in with them consistently and make sure things are going at a pace that works for both of you. Allow their feelings to be just as valid as yours.

Conclusion

Astrology and zodiac compatibility helps us see potential more than anything else. When a teacher meets a new class, each student has a unique learning style. Each student is equal and worthy of the teacher’s attention. When we are in relationships, it’s our job to know ourselves and to get to know the emotional landscapes of our partners, friends, and other loved ones as well. Taking a careful, mature approach to relationships can give you a good outcome even if the relationship doesn’t last forever. Having mutual respect and compassion for each other will change the relationship dynamic from confused and disconnected to understanding and open.

Find Out More About Compatibility Matches For Your Sign!

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Shannon Yrizarry has taught metaphysical subjects since 2013 including the deeply esoteric lineage of kundalini yoga. She has worked as a healer, clairvoyant and card reader and… Learn More About The Author »

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